'Void,
Gotta love it.
A decent page where brian don writes about his true thoughts and latest happenings of his life. Nothing more, nothing less. xo And hopes his skate crew video [void] will be released soon. - An extremely family orientated kid. A catholic whose a strong believer of god. and dreams to go professional in street skateboarding in the near future.
MONDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008, 12:28 AM
You think a minor setback like this would have me give up my passion so easily? You can't take away a what i've started loving very long time ago just like that. Dangerous? Risky? Don't you know i know all that? What can i do besides that? Its like taking away a baby's favorite toy, you can't just make me stop just like that. Its not easy, its hard, really really hard. You say you know what im feeling and going through. But in fact your so wrong, you act as if im someone who you can just order to do something whatever you like. Im a human, just like you. We all are different in our own ways, but can't you just accept the fact im having fun and enjoying my life? You say it's too dangerous, its too risky for me to do that. So now your indirectly shooting at me that i should permanently stop it as its tooo dangerous again! And then find an alternative sports or time waster to replace it. No, no, no. I can't just throw away what i've live through for the past 2 years having fun. Im not like you, you know that very well. In fact, if you think about it. We're totally different. Too different in fact. And sometimes i really wonder alot of things of what i should not and should write here. Its hard, and i know its harder to see me get injured and hurt. I totally understand that, but you always have to emphasize on the risk of that sport. You even said even walking is risky as we may never know when we'll trip and fall and get hurt. I don't want to waste my life just watching senseless shows on TV, INTERNET, play stupid mindless RPG games, psp and etc like what those coach potatoes do all day long. Very unsocial, you could see them appearing online on the windows live messenger or any chat programmes every single day. Im not like that, i would rather die then be like them. Sometimes in life, theres only a certain point we could do or achieve. Im young and still have so much to learn. I have alot of flaws and so much to improve on. Im not a perfect person and will never be one because i won't be one. No one is perfect. We all wanna be rich, and i know money plays an enormously huge part on our lives. But im not that type of ambitious guy. Im not ambitious. I just want to have a simple life. A simple life in which is comfortable, stable and at the same time i very happy. You can have all the riches in the world and be happy. Then again it boils down back to you. The individual, you do what makes you happy. You say im not fairing very well in my studies as i had to re-take my O'levels again. You've said that and reprimanded from time and time again about it. You kept talking all about my flaws all the time. And never once i've heard my success or whatever im good at. Its always the bad things. I don't know what to write any further. Everytime we have this super duper long conversations. It seems to go round and round in circles. Im the opposite of perfect. You never found any good or positive sides of me that you would be proud of. Because your always expecting so much of what i could only give. Im doing my best in all my studies and exams, i don't wanna disappoint you. I want you to be proud. But it seems that all the trying to "burn midnight oil" falls to a blind eye. I don't ever recall you saying that i tried my best at least. Instead you said i could have least tried my best. You get the point now? You see, it started from just a minor thing about skating. And it had to involve my studies too. Great. Its always like this. Im always in the wrong. You said i should always try to speak up. But it seems that i always do so at the wrong time. Tell me when is the right time? Your always busy and all, if not in a foul awfully mood. I don't get you two. Im stuck, i could never make it up to you. I wished i wasn't ever born from the both of you, so that i won't have this life. I would be even happier and grateful enough if i was born in a very poor family but is very supportive of one another. Loving, caring and understanding. I hate you both so much, but i still love you both tremendously deep inside of me. I just don't know. But one thing for sure, I will never ever forever stop what i love doing now. -surfing the streets-